Sorry
by dannyboy23
Summary: One-shot. 4x20 spoilers. Sam doesn't understand what he did that was so wrong. But now he knows he needs to apologize


So, I was pretty disappointed with Glee's latest episode. For the record I thought that Blake Jenner and Becca Tobin were incredible and did the story a whole hell of a lot of justice. My main issue with it though was Sam and Artie's reaction to Ryder's confession. Arguably, these are the two nicest characters in Glee Club yet they acted like completely ignorant douchebags towards Ryder afterwards and I was disappointed but I could have dealt with that. The fact there was no apology scene between them was what angered me; especially from Sam as he has been my favourite for three seasons now and I expected more from him. So, I wrote this how I personally would've approached things. Sugar, Joe and Brittany weren't in this episode but I have added to them to this story as well

Sam couldn't really figure out just why everyone seemed really pissed off at him following Ryder's confession. He just didn't understand why Ryder was making such a massive fuss over it; to Sam it seemed as if he was ashamed of something that was really awesome. He would have killed to have an older girl after him like that when was twelve, it would have been the best thing ever so he couldn't see just why Ryder was so upset about it and why this girl was now in prison. OK, so it's a bit sketchy going after a guy five years younger than you or whatever but it certainly shouldn't have been a crime surely? Sam knew he wasn't the most intelligent guy in the room but the fact that Artie, who probably was, seemed to agree with him made Sam think that he was right. Even Ryder seemed to except it at one point giving Sam a high five, but as they got back into the lesson Sam noticed that Ryder was anything but fine. He also noticed a whole lot of death glares that were coming his and Artie's way. Tina deliberately went and sat next to Unique and Kitty on the other side of the room and Jake and Marley both gave Sam a cross look before sitting on either side of Ryder as though they were protecting him from something. Even Mr. Schuster gave Sam a look that read 'I expected a lot more from you'. Blaine stayed sitting near them but Sam could tell his best friend was silently angry with him whilst Brittany looked as confused and puzzled as she normally did but when she glanced at Sam he could tell she wasn't happy with him either. Sugar and Joe kept pretty quiet throughout the whole thing but as Sugar hugged Ryder and Joe placed a supportive arm on Ryder's shoulder it was obvious that they probably were pissed off with him too. The rest of Glee Club went without much incident until the bell rang, Ryder was the first to leave the choir room in fact he almost ran out of it and was followed by Jake and Marley. Blaine, Brittany and Tina all left together each giving Sam a cross glance before they did so

"I thought more of you two" Unique said as she passed Sam and Artie before leaving the classroom herself. Sam expected Kitty to make a sarcastic comment about how everyone had overreacted but she stayed silent as she passed barely acknowledging Sam or Artie. Mr Schu rubbed his forehead before leaning back on the piano and sighing. "I was really disappointed in you two today guys" he said, the tone in his voice made that much clear "That must've been so hard for Ryder to do and you just walked all over him. Made him feel pathetic and guilty, like he shouldn't be haunted by what happened to him. I almost couldn't believe it was the Sam or Artie I knew talking"

"Mr Schu, look, we know that maybe it was a bit out of line but come on" said Artie "Are you seriously telling me that when you were twelve you weren't looking at seventeen year olds and wishing you could score with them? I know I was"

"That's not the point guys" said Mr Schu angrily "There is a hell of a lot difference between being a hormone addled teenage boy and… and _that _happening to Ryder. What happened to Ryder when he was younger was sick. It's a crime. The gender of the person doesn't matter. It's the fact it happened and you two as Ryder's friends should be more supportive of him and help him threw it. Not make him feel as if he's stupid for not being happy about it"

Sam was confused. He'd always wanted attention from older girls when he was 11, he craved it, he couldn't count the amount of times he and all of his friends would sneak onto the high school grounds and watch cheerleaders practice. Or how many times he'd watched _The O.C._ and wished he would be cast as one of the girls love interests. He just didn't see how what happened to Ryder was so bad; he couldn't understand why Ryder was so cut up about it

"So, I guess you want us to apologize to him" asked Sam

"Yes. Yes I do" said Schu "But not because I've told you to apologize to him, that won't be genuine. I want you to apologize to Ryder in your own time, when you've realized just the full scale of what happened to him and understood how horrible it is. I want you guys to mean your apology. So, tonight, I'm going to give you a bit of homework"

'God damn it' Sam thought to himself. The last thing he needed was more homework.

"I don't think there are any songs dealing with this subject matter" said Artie

"I don't want you to find a song guys" said Mr Schu "I want you guys to do some research. I want you to find out how badly this kind of thing can affect someone, especially if they're as young as Ryder was when it happened to him. I want you to fully understand the extent of what Ryder went through; and then maybe you'll understand and apologize to him. You can leave now"

"Are you going to do this research" Sam asked Artie as they exited the choir room

"Don't think so" said Artie "I mean, I still think that Ryder and everyone else overreacted. Think about it Sam, twelve years old or whatever and some older pretty girl comes onto you? How in hell is that a bad thing? Anyway, I've gotta go. My mum's picking me up for a doctor's appointment, I'll see you tomorrow"

"See you dude" said Sam as he watched his friend wheel away. Sam made his way to his next class, English, where Blaine and Tina would be. He wondered if they were still pissed at him, he still didn't understand what was so bad about what he and Artie said. Sam remembered the first time he ever met Ryder; it was during a Grease rehearsal and Sam immediately liked Ryder from the second they had met. He seemed so cool and confident for a fifteen year old, certainly more so than Sam had been at the same age, and had a strange maturity about him that let him fit in easier with the older boys. He also liked how nice Ryder was, he settled into the Glee Club so well and so quickly it felt like he'd been there forever. Senior year had been Sam's favourite year at McKinley so far mainly thanks to Blaine and Brittany but Ryder had been a big part of it for Sam as well and he'd hate to lose him as a friend. Maybe he should apologize? Even if he didn't understand why he was apologizing? He really liked Ryder.

Sam entered the English classroom and apologized for being late before heading towards Blaine and Tina who both begrudgingly moved along to let him sit next to them. Neither of them spoke a word to him. Sam got out his notes and began copying from the chalkboard; he began to develop yet another headache as he struggled to tell what certain words said. That was another thing he had in common with Ryder. Dyslexia. They'd been helping eachother with it since they met, they'd occasionally meet up on weekends and help eachother with their homework.

"Hey dude, do you want to come over to my house tonight" Sam asked running after Blaine once the class had left. Blaine had left silently and quickly with Tina without saying a word to Sam "My mum's making her chicken casserole that you love"

"No" said Blaine shortly

"Why not, you said you weren't doing anything tonight" Sam asked as Blaine began walking away from him again

Blaine stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Sam

"Do you even have any idea what you've done" he asked sounding genuinely angry and a little bit scary. Sam flinched. "You and Artie? Glee Club? What you said? Ryder is broken, Marley just text me and he's been crying all afternoon. Jake's with him. They skipped class and whilst we're on the subject of Jake you better pray he doesn't find you"

Sam was now more confused by ever. Ryder had been crying? Jake was out for his blood? He just didn't understand the extreme reactions

"Dude, I didn't mean to upset Ryder" Sam said confused

"I know" sighed Blaine "I know that Sam. I know that you would never intentionally hurt anyone ever. You're too good of a person for that but you are also a totally ignorant moron at times. And you were that today"

"Look, I know sometimes I speak before I think" said Sam "In fact I do it a lot, but I just don't see what's so bad about Ryder's situation"

"Well then, there's no point having this conversation" said Blaine before walking off leaving Sam alone and confused in the corridor

Deciding he needed some advice Sam headed to Miss Pillsbury's office. She always knew what to say and seemed to understand him a lot better than any of the other teachers in the school. She was also one of the nicest people Sam knew and one of the people he knew for sure who wouldn't judge for his apparent stupidity and ignorance. Sam got a shock as he turned the corner to Emma's office; there were already people inside. Emma, Mr Schu, Principal Figgins, Ryder, a police officer and his parents were all crammed into the small office. Ryder's mum, though Sam couldn't see her face, was clearly crying as he shoulder moved up and down rapidly whilst Ryder's father remained quite far apart form his son, wincing as though he were ashamed of what had happened to Ryder. Figgins looked lost and out of his depth as he spoke to Mr Schu and the police officer whilst Emma gave Ryder a supportive squeeze on his arm. Sam the noticed Jake and Marley who were standing just outside of the office; Marley looked very emotional as she watched Ryder give a statement to the police whilst Jake kissed her on the head and frowned as he saw Sam. Sam backed away but Jake was soon catching up to him

"Jake don't" Marley said as she ran after her boyfriend

"You think what you did today wasn't bad" asked Jake as he grabbed the cuff of Sam's shirt. Sure, Jake was a sophomore and quite a bit smaller than Sam but he was still very strong and physically threatening. Sam felt he was right to feel just a little bit scared in that moment, Jake had approached him very quickly "My best friend is in there probably having the worse experience of his life and all you could do is mock him for feeling bad about it"

"I didn't mean – I didn't think that" Sam began trying desperately to form the correct words "Look, I didn't think it was that serious" he shouted as Jake let him go on Marley's persuasion

"Not that serious?" asked Marley as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing from Sam "Not that serious? Sam, I don't know if you realize this but Ryder" she pointed to the boy now sobbing into his mother's arms through the glass of Emma's office window "Ryder was molested. It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter how but that is a serious and traumatic crime and you and Artie making jokes about it helps no one and it certainly doesn't help Ryder"

"He thought you were his friend dude" said Jack seething in anger. It was clear it was taking all of his will power not to punch Sam's lights out "Do you know what he thinks now? Well, he thinks you're a douche for one thing but he also thinks that he's pathetic. That you and Artie were laughing at him for being weak"

"No, we weren't we-"Sam began again

"Were stupid, ignorant, complete morons" Marley finished for him "I can't believe I thought you were a good person Sam, shame on us eh?" She grabbed Jake's arm and led him away from Sam who was left staring as Ryder left the office with his parents. His mother's arm was cast around him but his father remained distant almost as if he was embarrassed to be seen with his son. Sam and Ryder briefly made eye contact as Ryder was led from the school. Ryder merely shook his head at Sam. Sam's guilt was rising by the second. Ryder was really broken by this. It wasn't a good thing that happened to him, it was serious. It was sick. Sam thought about his little brother and sister. He thought about how they were the most precious things to him in the world and how he'd kill for them if he had to. He thought about how much his little brother looked up to him. And how disappointed his parents would be if they caught wind of this. Sam thought back to his little brother, he tried to imagine what he'd do if his little brother came to him one day and told him that a stranger, or even someone they trusted, and had molested him. Sam became angry and his blood boiled at the thought. Rushing to the library Sam found a computer and immediately began researching the physcological effects someone could get from going through what Ryder went through. Although he didn't understand some of the big words, Sam was shocked as he read about suicides and people even becoming molesters themselves in later lives. It made Sam feel sick. Not just the situation, but with himself.

How had he got it so damn wrong? How could he have thought what happened to Ryder was OK? How had he encouraged Ryder to feel proud of it? How had he been such an ignorant doucebag? He thought about Finn, Puck, Quinn and Mercedes and all the other people who had been his friends in Glee before they left. He thought about how they would have handled the situation. None of them would have laughed or thought it was something to joke about. Puck and Santana, in Sam's mind, were the most obvious ones who would have but he thought that even they would have drawn the line there. Sam thought about Sue Sylvester. He didn't think even she would stoop as low as that. Did this make him worse than Sue? Sam had always tried his best to be a good person, he'd got pretty awesome at it too it came almost naturally too him. To be selfless. He did it all the time. He'd spent a year working as a stripper in order to help his family. He'd made himself feel dirty and ashamed like a piece of meat so his family could live well. He'd never been so much as mean let alone cruel to anyone before in his life – so how was it he'd been so off the mark with Ryder?

"Hey" came Brittany's voice as she sat down next to him

"Hey" Sam said "I guess you're pissed with me as well?"

"Yeah" said Brittany so simply it was as if she was reporting the weather or something "What happened to Ryder was really awful and you were really, really mean to him about it"

"I know" Sam sighed.

"So, what're you going to do" asked Brittany

"Apologize" said Sam "And hope he forgives me"

"Hi, Mrs Lynn?" Sam asked as Ryder's mother opened the door. He'd found Ryder's address from Marley who was reluctant to give it to him until Sam said it was so that he could go and apologize to Ryder for what he had said "My name's Sam Evans, I'm one of Ryder's friends from school and Glee Club I don't know if he's ever mentioned me?"

"Mentioned you?" said Mrs Lynn as though the thought he hadn't was obscene "Mentioned you? Dear, he never stops talking about that Glee Club and all the friends he has in it. Never. He's always had trouble making friends, I suppose after today now we know why, and he's been so happy at McKinley. Now Sam. Sam? Ah yes. You're the boy he did that Risky Business number with aren't you? And you were in Grease as well I take it? Yes, I think Ryder regards you as one of his best friends you know"

Sam gulped. 'Way to make me feel even worse' he thought to himself as Mrs Lynn let Sam into the house. Mr Lynn was sitting at the table, he said a courteous hello to Sam before returning to reading his newspaper. Sam got a bad vibe from Mr Lynn; he'd had it since he'd noticed the distance between him and his son in Emma's office. Sam thought that was so strange, he knew that his dad wouldn't have let him out of his sight for weeks if Sam had confessed what Ryder had confessed.

"Ryder is in his room" said Mrs Lynn "Thank you for coming over Sam, it's nice to know that Ryder has friends who care about him."

"Well" said Sam breathing in "I've actually come to apologize to him, and you guys, I kind of… I just don't think that I personally handled the situation very well and I've been feeling bad about it"

"Well thank you for your honesty Sam" said Mr Lynn getting up for the first time "Ryder's in his room. Third door on the left upstairs"

Sam made his way tentatively to Ryder's bedroom. The house was massive easily bigger than anywhere Sam had ever lived before, it was easy to feel jealous of Ryder for that but Sam soon thought back to everything Ryder had been threw and it was clear he didn't have an easy life. Sam knocked on Ryder's bedroom door. The shock was evident on Ryder's face as he opened it and saw Sam standing there. Sam smiled. Ryder smiled back and let Sam in. Ryder's bedroom was a lot more basic than Sam had been expecting in a house this large, there were a lot of pictures of Ryder with Marley, Jake and Unique as well as some with Sam and Blaine.

"Why are you here" Ryder asked

"I came because I owe you an apology" said Sam "What I said to you today in Glee Club was totally out of line. I shouldn't have said it. I was just being ignorant and stupid and I honestly didn't mean to upset you anymore, I really care about you as a friend Ryder. I'm sure Artie's sorry as well. I should've thought more carefully about what I said, I should have realized how hard and traumatic this whole thing must have been for you and I really hope you don't hate me now. Because I think we could be really good friends. I want us to be good friends"

"Me too" said Ryder "And thank you for apologizing. I know that not many people like me and I-"

"Sorry what?" Sam interjected shocked "Ryder, how can you possibly think no one likes you? You're probably one of the most popular guys in school let alone the Glee Club. Everyone really likes you. Even Santana liked you when she met you at Thanksgiving – and trust me, it's not easy to win that girl over believe me"

"Thanks" said Ryder. He looked close to tears

"Hug it out?" Sam asked

"Hug it out" Ryder repeated


End file.
